Reaching out to the elderly in Budapest

“If God wants to see me move one step forward, He must kick me twice. Sometimes three times.” Simple, honest words. Especially from someone who’s been walking alongside God for over ten years. Walking? Rushing – and to everywhere! Salai Feri is one of the busiest people in the world. At least that’s what he feels. And therefore when he thinks about the elderly, he’s sure that they have been devising plans against him. The way they step off the sidewalk right in front of his car, to cross the road 15 times more slowly than anyone else! Smiling at him, and deliberately getting on his nerves! So it was obviously not his own ambition to start the Old Folks ministry, but rather God's prompting.

Arany Alkony (Golden Sunset) Old Folks’ Home. It is the place where the team goes to share the message of God’s love. The residents of the home are elderly men and women in their 80s and 90s. Their relatives live far away; rarely do they visit. And this alone makes the message of the gospel so appealing here. Family and friends might not take care of the elderly – but Jesus does – and it touches them.

We are sitting in the Kulacs restaurant with Feri and his fellow team-members – Stanzel Barnabás and Viki. Excitement is vibrating in the air, as they can’t wait to tell their part of the story. When I ask about how it all started, Feri's response is just one word: “Catastrophic”.

His wife, Tünde would burst out crying whenever Greg mentioned the elderly in church. Everyone knows she is a sensitive sort of person. Feri would sink deep into his seat and just nod: “Yes, that’s right, the church has to reach out to them.” Then the prompting started to come from yet another direction and it got stronger and stronger. It was difficult to withstand. Again, God gently kicked him.

“I invited the leaders of the home to my restaurant,” Feri recalls. “There were five or six of them; doctors, nurses, mental hygiene specialists. They trusted me; I’ve got no clue why. Perhaps they knew my face from RTL Klub (one of the commercial channels in Hungary) or they just simply thought that a restaurant owner wouldn’t run away. Finally we got the go-ahead and our team was on its way to the old folks’ home.”

The very first time they went turned out to be quite challenging. The guest performer was Margit Bangó; she sang Christian songs accompanied by gypsy folk music.

“I grew at least 40 years older during our first ‘mission trip’ there,” Feri says laughing.

Then, as he gets serious again, I understand why he felt it so challenging.

“Initially, 14 people had signed up for the ministry, eventually, not one of them turned up. But God saved the situation and in the end 14 other people came along. The outreach had been announced two or three times in the church. On one of the Sundays I had arranged for the volunteers to meet together for a few minutes. 14 volunteers were there, so I was really enthusiastic – I didn’t expect to have such high levels of interest. The outreach was scheduled for Thursday afternoon but by Tuesday, 12 of the volunteers have called me to tell me they couldn’t come.”

“When I arrived at church on that Wednesday, I told Isti to be very persuasive when announcing it to the church. I didn’t lose hope...but by the end of the services we had no volunteers – the two remaining guys had also quit. I felt devastated. “So what now... let me choose: a bullet or a rope?” Feri remembers his thoughts that night. “I was sitting at the balcony of our house and couldn’t say a word.”

“The following day I received a phone call from someone who was willing to join us. An hour later another guy phoned.... The next day when we met there were 14 of us.”

Viki and Barnabás are just nodding, they know the story. “I was one of the guys who called Feri that day,” Barnabás says. “I didn’t promise anything, I thought I would come a couple of times, it seemed a great opportunity to serve. Then I realized that if I stayed on, God would for sure be working on me as well.”

Then a new door opened. The group started to visit the chronic ward, where the elderly are very receptive. They listen to the gospel, many of them pray and they always look forward to seeing the team again.

“I recently talked to a 92-year-old man and his wife,” Feri recalls. “First I let them share about themselves, complain a little if they wanted to, then I thought I would get to the point. When the old man started to talk about his memories as the personal secretary of the Prime Minister during the Gömbös cabinet, I was astonished. (Gömbös Gyula was head of the fascist government in Hungary in 1932.) Can this be true?”

“I got scared and started to do the calculations in my head... and yes, there’s no doubt he did live then, it must be true... I was outraged that he was so proud of having been the secretary of a fascist leader. Finally, I pulled myself together and shared Christ with him. Then, out of nothing he said, ‘You know what? What if I received Christ?’”

“I couldn’t believe it! I thought I was dreaming... I overheard Hamar Dani who was sharing in the neighboring room, so I quickly called him to come over. We started to pray. The old man was holding my hands tightly; I was just staring at him, hardly believing it was true. It was.”

As I leave the Kulacs, I can’t help thinking about what Feri, Barnabás and Viki have just shared with me. God works by peeling our hearts, removing the hard covers, layer by layer. He does it very slowly, carefully awakening a desire within us to minister. It is like love, but the old-fashioned, conservative type... In the 21st century, life is way too speedy. We want everything instantly, here and now... Instant soup, instant messenger, mobile phones and love-at-first-sight...

Time though is a tool in God’s hands. He uses it to prepare our hearts. He prompts godly desires and removes those that are unnecessary. If we set off with a God-given desire in our hearts, we can make a difference. But it is essential to be constantly at work, doing the good that He has prepared us for. Then, we can watch as He we will build the ministry that he’s called us to... in His timing, in His own way.

Marietta Szabó
(taken from the Mentés Másként Magazine, issue #2)